Harry Potter and the Musical Nightmare
by GPhoenix
Summary: Erm... wierd things happen during a class. STRAGE things... just laught at it! XDD


**Harry Potter and the Musical Nightmare**

**Disclaimer** No, I don't own harry Potter of the characters you will find here, they all belong to J. K. Rowlling... but nothing impeded me of murderize the whole Harry Potter Universe! Mwahahahahahah!! This is a music filled piece of crap, ahem, I mean, fict! I'm so eeeeeeevil!!! Oh yeah, this might not make lots of sence because I had to translate it from portuguese... sorry people! hides

--------------- ------ --- --

Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger are at the door of a class room, at the School of Magic and Wizardry of Hogwarts, along with other Gryffindor Students. They had enrolled in a new subject: Sentimental expression.

** HARRY: ** Does anyone know who'll be giving these classes?

RON: I have nooooooo idea!

The students keep on whispering among each other until the heavy door slowly opens itself and inside the room they can see... the professor Abus Dumbledore. Slowly they go inside.

DUMBLEDORE: Come in, come in and sit down. Welcome to the new subject or sentimental expression. This class was created so the students might share and release their frustrations. _Dumbledore smiles_ Most of you might be already climbing up the walls with all you've been through and lived so far so, and before you go totally loony, let's express out those frustrations.

_ Dumbledore rises and walks towards Harry. _

** DUMBLEDORE: ** Do you want to start, Harry? You must be one of those that have more to say.

_ Harry nods in agreement and rises, taking a chair and placing it in the middle of the room. The room gets dark and a white light falls on Harry, who is sat on the chair, alone, looking melancholic. Music fills the air and he turns at his colleagues, singing. (Cake - I Will Survive) _

** First I was afraid  
I was petrified  
thinking that I had to live  
With Voldemort sneaking by my side **

RON: _interrupting Harry's tune. The music stops like a scratched record. Light fills the room again_ HARRY!!! Don't say his name!!!

HARRY: Ok, OK! Geeze! A guy can't say a thing these days! _he starts singing again as the rooms grows dark_

I've spent so many nights  
with the Scar burning, feeling ill  
hidden under the covers

Thinking that the you-know-who was after me for the kill

And then he came back

From the outter space   
**With his wand in hand**

After he vanished without a trace

When he killed my parents   
**He tried to kill me but it was his end**

I'm the boy who lived   
**And now he returned ready to try again**

**Oh and now**

He walks in the door  
Ten times uglier

And as smart as a Troll  
He cursed me with Avada Kadevra, I know I must flee   
**He thought I'd humiliate**  
**I know he's here to hunt me**

Oh, but no  
I will survive   
**as long as I use magic,**

** I Know I'll stay alive**

Even if Trelawney say he'll murder me  
protection comes from the great professor D.

I will survive

I will survive!

Yeah, yeah

The music stops and light fills the room again. Harry takes the chair and sits again beside Ron and Hermione, that applaud him. Dumbledore cleans a tear from the corner of his eye clapping too.

DUMBLEDORE: Well done Harry! Well done! Very expressive! 50 points for the Gryffindors! _he looks around_ And who wants to go next?

A cloud of green smoke enter the room by a window, before everyone's astonished eyes. It stops in the middle of the room and Voldemort comes out of it, with a microphone in hand. (Sting and the Police - Every Breath You Take)

VOLDEMORT: This tune is for you, Harry.

Once I tried to kill you

With a scar you survived and disappeared out in the blue

My powers, you took them too

Now I can't even use the loo

I'll be watching you

Every single day

And every word you say

For every headache I had

You've escaped from me many times, yes you have

I'll be watching you

Oh can't you see?

That I want to kill thee?

And to my wish fulfil

Unicorns I had to kill

Possessed others own

And searched for the Philosophers stone

Pettigrew didn't kill you

Quirrell couldn't touch you,

I'll be watching you

And when I get my powers back,

I'll be right behind your track!

I'll be watching you

I'll be watching you!!

The music ends and everyone applauds excited, the girls screaming like there's no tomorrow: Voldie, Voldie!

VOLDEMORT: _bowing for its students audience _Thank you, thank you! Mondays, Wednesday and Sundays on the dark Forrest! Come to see my show! Thank you, thank you!

DUMBLEDORE: Voldie, this was your best show ever! If you were in a house team, I'd give you 50 points!

VOLDEMORT: Thank you Albus! _Voldemort jumps to Dumbledore's arms and hug each other_ Thank you for this chance of showing my misunderstood talent!

Still hugged, both of them start screaming and crying like little girls and an Aaaawww leaves the mouth of every student. Some of them – like Ron – start crying feeling sorry for Voldemort. Hermione cleans a tear. Dumbledore and Voldemort break away and Voldemort sits next to Harry, that pats his back and gives him a tissue. Dumbledore cleans his nose and turns to the students.

DUMBLEDORE: Who's next?

Before anyone can do or say a word, or even be able to move, Hermione Granger jumps to a table. Waving her wand she mages colourful lights spring everywhere and using dark sunglasses she says:

HERMIONE: Hit it!

Music starts rolling and she uses her wand like an electric guitar, dancing on the table. (U2-Elevation)

STU-STUDY-IIIII-IIIING   
**(Ooh-ooh)  
(Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-oh)  
(Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-oh)  
(Ooh-ooh)**

****

Smarter, better than the everyone  
I know everything like no one   
**What ever we need to learn, I already know**  
**and even when I'm eatin'  
A good book I have to be readin'**  
**For gettin'**  
**To elevate my IQ**

The Hogwarts story I already read  
You'll never see something like me   
**On classes I always behave  
I only want the best grade**  
**Everyone knows I'm the best  
The best at **

**STU-DY-IIIII-IIIING**  
**(Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-oh)  
(Ooh-ooh)  
STU-DY-IIIII-IIIING**

The envy   
**from the whole school, I know**  
**Harry, the potions classes must hate  
But I only want my mind educate**  
**In history of Magic I know it all from before  
Transfigurations I get loads of points for the Gryffindor**  
**Alohomora I know to say**

And save   
**Harry from the problems he gets in**  
**Ron is afraid of spiders**  
**and Neville trips over on the ladders**  
**I'm the best in Aritmancia**  
**I feel like I'm a genius  
Genius!**

STU-DY-IIIII-IIIING   
**STU-DY-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-IIIING**  
**(Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-oh)  
(Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-oh)  
STU-DY-IIIII-IIIING**  
**(Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-oh)  
(Ooh-ooh)**

STU-DY-IIIII-IIIING   
**STU-DY-....**_  
_

_When she realises that everyone is staring at her, Hermione stops the music, makes the lights disappear and steeps down from the table with a shy look on her face._ _ But before Dumbledore can say a word, Ron rises and runs to the center of the room. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley appear from behind a tapestry and Fred, Jorge, Percy, Ginny, Charlie and Bill jump from under the tables and join Ron. (????? - We are Family) _

(The Weasley family making second voices as Ron sings)

We are family  
I've got all my brothers and sister with me

We are family

With freckles and red hair we're easy to see

We are poor and barely have what to eat

(Ron)

But we are happy  
(HAPPY!)

With seven children to raise, dad went to wok on the ministry of magic

So our fate on Hogwarts wouldn't be tragic  
(OUR!)

Everyone asks how can we live  
The house looks like its falling apart

But let me tell you, its no lie

Family is the best of your life

_ (The Weasleys all together) _

We are family  
I've got all my brothers and sister with me

We are family

With freckles and red hair we're easy to see

We are poor and barely have what to eat

_ (Ron) _

Mom works at home and cooks very swell  
Percy prays to do his work well

PERCY: Amen to that bro!

Charlie works with dragons and Bill counts Galleons  
Fred and George, don't try their jokes and illusions

FRED and GEORGE: You said it mate!!

Ginny would faint,

If Harry asked her for a date

GINNY: SHUT UP!!!!****

As for me, I'd like to punch Malfoy on a fight  
But let me tell you, it is right 

Family is the best of your life

Before Ron and the Weasleys have time to be applauded, a head pops out from the fire of the fireplace, scaring everyone.

LUPIN: Hey, Sirius!

Another head pops in right beside Remus Lupin, looking at everyone on the room.

SIRIUS: What do you want? I was sleeping!

LUPIN: Look! It seems like Dumbledore is giving a Karaoke party! Let's join them!

SIRIUS: Okay!

Lupin and Sirius jump from the fireplace, patting the dust on their cloaks. Both wave their wands and a light falls on them and music starts. (Baha Men - Who Let the Dogs Out?)

(Ron, Harry and Hermione making second voices)

Who let the dogs out?

(Lupin and Sirius)

woof, woof, woof, woof

woof, woof, woof, woof

woof, woof, woof, woof

woof, woof, woof, woof

Who let the dogs out? woof, woof, woof, woof

Who let the dogs out? woof, woof, woof, woof

(Lupin) (Dumbledore, Voldemort and the Weasleys)

I was a professor, in the beginning it was okay **Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo**

And for me Professor Snape had no love, yay **Hah, ho, Yippie Yi Yo **

Everything was swell until the full moon came Yippie Yi Yo

I had to transform and werewolf was my name

That's when the god had to be released

(Ron, Harry and Hermione) (Lupin and Sirius)

Who let the dogs out? woof, woof, woof, woof

Who let the dogs out? woof, woof, woof, woof

Who let the dogs out? woof, woof, woof, woof

Who let the dogs out? woof, woof, woof, woof

(Sirius)

The boy here the full moon couldn't see

So a dog I became

I don't cut my hair, fur is everywhere

And a tramp forever I'll be

HARRY: Let's go people! Only the dogs on tha house!

(Sirius and Lupin)

woof, woof, woof, woof

woof, woof, woof, woof

woof, woof, woof, woof

woof, woof, woof, woof

(Lupin and Sirius) (Dumbledore, Voldemort and the Weasleys)

We're here to say Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo

We have fur and we haul but give us a chance Yippie, Yi, Yo

We're great dudes and these are our plans Yippie Yi, Yo

Sniff some gals and enter the dance Yippie, Yi, Yo

Join the party and shake it until the night ends!

Sing with us!

(Ron, Harry and Hermione) (Lupin and Sirius, Dumbledore, Voldemort and the Weasleys)

Who let the dogs out? woof, woof, woof, woof

Who let the dogs out? woof, woof, woof, woof

Who let the dogs out? woof, woof, woof, woof

Who let the dogs out? woof, woof, woof, woof

SNAPE: _ (that come out from a cauldron) _What the hell is this?

DUMBLEDORE: In the beginning it was a class of sentimental expression, but now I think it turned into a Karaoke party. Want to join us?

Snape makes a thinking expression. Then he grabs the edges of the cauldron and steppes out of it.

SNAPE: Okay.

He makes a microphone appear and walks over to Lupin and Sirius.

SNAPE: Help me my dear friends. I need a backup choir on the electric guitars.

Snape summons two electric guitars for Lupin and Sirius, transforming their robes and cloaks into black leather rock clothes. The music starts. (???? - Bad to the Bone)

** In Hogwarts I have a bad reputation, they say I'm a bad guy  
I hate Harry's father, his mother and his dog toy**

HARRY: _ (interrupting Snape's music that stops like a scratched disc) _But I don't have a dog-shaped toy!

SNAPE: It was only to make a rime! You could have a donkey toy for all that I care! _(Snape continues singing) _

_ _

**I pass on the corridors and the students shake nervous**  
**I'm hated by everyone, I'm bad to the bone**  
**Bad to the bone  
Bad to the bone  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
Bad to the bone!**

**I take points from the Gryffindor, when they are winning**  
**And lots more I'll take baby, before the year is ending**  
**I was Voldermort's pal, one glance from me and you're gone  
I'm hated by everyone, I'm bad to the bone**  
**Bad to the bone  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
Bad to the bone!**

**I make Harry tremble, and leave Ron squeaking  
Hermione's hair raises in the air, and Neville starts weeping  
What a hell of a class, why do I have to get this job done?  
I'm hated by everyone, I'm bad to the bone **

B-B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
Bad to the bone!!!

The music ends and Snape, along with Sirius and Lupin, bow to the smashing applause. Hermione and Ginny scream like lunatics, jumping to Snape's back. Ron and Harry whistle.

HARRY: That was excellent professor! Great song! (Harry yells)

SNAPE: Thank you for you kind complement Harry! 100 points to the Gryffindor!

**RON:**_ (jumps in his seat and screams) WAIT!!!! STOP EVERYTHING!!! _

_Everyone freezes where they stand and stare at Ron that is on the centre of the room looking around with a worried expression. _

**RON:** Wait!!! How could we??? HOW COULD WE?! _he makes a very dramatic face, like he's about to say that the world is about to end_ HOW could we be here and partying without calling my best friend here? My pal? My homie?

**HARRY:** Hmm but... Ron? I'm here!

**RON: **(_approaches Harry and pats his shoulder)_ Sorry Harry I should have already told you... me and... and....

**(EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM):** _(barely containing the excitement) _Yes...?

**RON: **Me and... Draco... we...

**(EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM):** _(approaching Ron from all sides)_ YES...????

**RON: **Me and Draco....

**HERMIONE:** _(Yelling at Ron's ears) Cut the crap! SAY IT FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! _

** RON: ** Me and Draco we are best pals!!! _Ron screams out and is voice his followed by a heavy silence in wish everyone stares at him... than everyone sighs in relief and start laughing_

** HARRY: ** _(patting Ron's shoulder)_ Is that all? Man, you almost gave me an heart attack! I thought you were saying that you had an affair with Draco!

_While everyone laughs, the door of the room burst open with a blinding light and some smoke. For some minutes all they can see is a waving cloak... that someone starts to cough and the light fades showing Draco Malfoy involved in smoke._

**VOLDMORT:** _(poking Giny)_ Very nice entrance, very dramatic... _(she nods in agreement)_

_ With a sexy smirk and light steps, Draco walks to the centre of the room, waving at Ron and Harry wich left Hermione and Ginny truly Jelous. He pushed the cloak aside and got in position to start. He ran his hands through his hair and turned at Harry. (R. Kelly – I believe I Can Fly) _

** I used to think that I was the king of the block **

** I was the bad boy and my presence rocked **

** But then Harry came and stole me my fame **

** I knew I had to be ahead of the game **

** If I hate him, then I can kill him **

** If I just chase him, nobody can save him **

** I want Harry to die **

** Knock him out of his broom on the sky **

** I've planed it night and day **

** To burn and tore his limbs away **

** And I hope it hurts **

** I'll throw him the Crucio spell until his head bursts **

** I want harry to die**

** I want harry to die**

** I want harry to die**

** See I want to bring him down **

** 'Cause not having an archenemy is not fun **

** I'll hate his guts through the years he'll live **

** See him dead is the best gift someone could give, oh **

** If I hate him, then I can kill him **

** If I just chase him, nobody can save him **

** I want Harry to die **

** Even if I have to deceive and lie **

** I'll do it the painful way **

** Put a Dementor behind him everyday **

** And I'll be sure it hurts **

** I want to make him pee on his shorts **

** I want harry to die**

** I want harry to die**

** Harry must diiiiiiiiiiieeeeee **

_The room goes wild with screams and cheers. Mrs. Weasly, Hermione and Ginny drool at Draco's feet while Ron and Mr. Weasley pat his back congratulating _ _ him for the exquisite performance... but before Dumbledore can speak and give the deserved points to Draco.. _

** HAGRID: ** (_coming suddenly from under Dumbledore's legs, rising him on his shoulders. Hagrid looks excited)_ Can I sing too? Can I sing too? I can, can I? Oh, please! I want to sing too! Please professor Dumbledore! Please?...

**DUMBLEDORE:** All right Hagrid, but I'd appreciate if you put me down. (Dumbledore smiles waving his wand).

_ Hagrid puts Dumbledore on the floor and starts jumping around. Dumbledore summons a microphone of the size of a football appear from the thin air and Hagrid takes it. _ _(Caetano Velozo – Leãozinho (Brazilian song) )_

**I like o see you, little dragon, burning my beard in the sun **

**_I like to see you, little dragon _**

**_To make happier, little dragon, my lonely heart _**

**I only had to find you and have fun **

****

**_A dragon's baby, in the morning _**

**_A three headed dog that kept groaning _**

**_And an hipogriff, he flew outta here _**

**_A giant spider, I'll take her everywhere _**

**I'd like to see Norbert, the little dragon, but he's in Romania **

_**Fuffy the three headed dog is gone, he fled **_

**Buckbeak ran away and joined the Wrestlemania **

**Aragog wanted to eat the kids 'cause she wasn't fed...**

_Hagrid stops singing and starts crying as big tears start streaming down his face. Hermione goes to pat him as he starts to yell cry: _

**HAGRID:** _(whining like a hurt wolf_ I want Buckbeak back! And-and-and Norbert and-and-and fluffy!!!! _whines more and louder)_

**HERMIONE:** Aaawww Hagrid, it's ok. We'll give you another dragon. Look, I have a dragon's egg under my bed, you want it?

**HAGRID:** ..... Sniff.... really?

**HERMIONE:** For real! But don't tell anyone! Nobody knows that's I'm also a big admirer of those lovely and adorable flying beings!

_Snape goes to Hagrid and gives him a tissue, trying to pat his shoulder, jumping so he can get to his back. Hagrid turns around and gives a hug to the professor... breaking Snape's bones in the process. _

** HAGRID: ** _(hugging Snape) _Thank you professor! Thank you! You're so adorable, so pretty, so nicie, so tiny, so...

** SNAPE: ** _(with his face purple and barely breathing)_ ... So in need of medical assistance...

_Hagrid realises he's suffocating Snape and puts him down, trying to clean his now wrinkled gown. Arthur Weasley helps Snape (that was walking like a drunk, because he was dizzy, through the room) to sit on a chair as Fred, George and Ron wave books in front of him to give him some air _

**DUMBLEDORE:** _(looking at his silver watch)_ Oh dear! Time flies when we're having fun, isn't it? It's almost time to finish this class.

**(EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM):** Aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww!!!!

**DUMBLEDORE:** We have to. I hope everyone had fun with this class and that everyone had the chance of getting in touch with their feelings. Now, and before we go, Let's form a group to sing one last song, what do you think?

**(EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM):** YAY!!!!!

_Dumbledore waves his wand in the air and the music starts and everyone goes to the centre of the room. The room dims a bit, making a night sky though it's still day. Stars start falling slowly leaving silvery traces. Dumbledore starts. (Sting - Every little thing she does is magic) _

(_Dumbledore_)

**They say I'm very wise **

**The best headmaster Hogwarts had **

**Then a Troll enters to scare **

**On the feast on the Great Hall **

**But I'll never let the school fall!**

_(Everybody)_

**Every little thing we do is magic **

**So from the Muggles we have to hide **

**And though the outcome of our powers sometimes get tragic **

**With our wands we do it all with pride**

(_Harry, Hermione, Ron, Malfoy, Fred, George, Ginny and Percy_)

**About Hogwarts we already know the story **

**On the first class we had **

**Now they teach us to use the magic **

**And there's no better place to learn that!**

(Everybody)

**Every little thing we do is magic **

**So from the Muggles we have to hide **

**And though the outcome of our powers sometimes get tragic **

**With our wands we do it all with pride**

(_Snape, Hagrid, Lupin, Sirius_)

_**We resolved to be teachers one day** _

**_To teach magic the old fashion way _**

**_But our silent fears got to us _**

**_When we reach the classroom door _**

**But we like it, that's why we were for hire **

**Or else will we do before retire? **

(Everybody)

**Every little thing we do is magic **

**So from the Muggles we have to hide **

**And though the outcome of our powers sometimes get tragic **

**With our wands we do it all with pride**

**Every little thing we do is magic **

**So from the Muggles we have to hide **

**And though the outcome of our powers sometimes get tragic **

**With our wands we do it all with pride**

_(Dumbledore jumps forward to make a solo, holding his wand, singing like it was a microphone) _

**Every little thing **

**Every little thing **

**Every little thing **

**Every little thing **

**Every little **

**Every little **

**Every little **

**Every little thing we do **

**Every little thing we do **

**Every little thing we do **

**Every little thing we do **

**Every little thing we do Eee oh oh... **

(Everybody)

**Every little **

**Every little **

**Every little thing we do is magic, magic, magic **

**Magic, magic, magic **

**Every little thing we do is magic **

**So from the Muggles we have to hide **

**And though the outcome of our powers sometimes get tragic **

**And that's he way it has to be!**

_The song ends with everyone under a star shower and in weird positions like they were making a musical show. The scene starts to tremble and fade... _

**RON**: _(trying to wake Harry up)_ Hey, Harry! Harry wake up!! HARRY POTTER!!!! WAKE UP!!!!!!

_Harry wakes up startled at the sound of his friend's shouts. He searches for his glasses on the pillow and looks up at Ron. _

**HARRY:** What? _(Harry looks around. He's on his room, on his bed. He smiles. It had al been a dream). _

**RON:** Time to go to classes. Were you dreaming? You were mumbling something about everything we do is magic. Are you feeling ok?

**HARRY:** I was having a dream... we were on classes and we were singing... You were there and Hermione was there too... and Dumbledore and Hagrid and Sirius and Lupin and... and Snape and Voldemort... everybody was singing!

**RON:** _(with a scared like hell look on his face) _Geeze! That wasn't a dream, no way! That was a nightmare!! Just imagine, Snape singing! (_Ron shivers_) I don't even want to imagine!

_Harry gets up and dresses himself. Ron sits on Harry's bed, waiting for him. _

**HARRY:** Which is the class we're having now?

**RON:** Don't you remember? It's that new class that Hermione forced her to attend, what was its name? _(Ron makes a thinking expression)_ Oh, I know! It's the Sentimental Expression Class!

_Listening to that, Harry remembers about his dream and faints. Ron seems astonished to see Harry fainted on the floor but does nothing to help him. _

**RON:** Geeze, that dream must have been really bad... I wonder what he dreamed about? (_he shrugs __and leaves the room leaving Harry still collapsed on he floor_).

--------------- ------ --- --

_So here it is! Finely finished! Wheeee!!! I just wanted to say that I was not taking drugs nor was I drunk when I wrote this... D I hope you all like it and pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase tell me you think of this! I'd love you to death if you do!_


End file.
